Better Next Year
by millstone1005
Summary: Four scenes with Ryan, one for each of the four Chrismukkahs he has spent with the Cohens.
1. 2003

**Title:** Better Next Year  
**Fandom: **The O.C.  
**Characters:**, Ryan, Cohens+1  
**Spoilers:** up through 4.7 _The Chrismukk-huh?_  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to _The O.C._. No profit taken.  
**Description:** Four scenes with Ryan, one for each of the four Chrismukkahs he has spent with the Cohens.

* * *

_2003: The Best Chrismukkah Ever_

Ryan's first Chrismukkah was not so bad, all things considered, especially in comparison to previous years. Eating Chinese food and watching Christmas movies (plus _Over The Top_) sure beat the Atwood version of the holiday.

Ryan was thinking just that as he got ready for bed two days after Christmas. Chrismukkah was officially over (_finally_) since Hanukkah had ended that day at sundown. Ryan sighed as he sat down on the side of the bed. He really hoped this meant that things would _finally_ quiet down. And that Seth would _finally_ calm down from his Chrismukkah-induced hyperactivity.

And, speak of the devil – Ryan looked up to see Seth barge into the pool house (as usual, uninvited and without even knocking) and flop down, draping himself over the chair and ottoman as if he didn't have the energy left to sit up properly. He let out a huge sigh, as if channeling the pathos of the world.

"Ryan, buddy, I _really_ hate when Chrismukkah ends." Another sigh.

Ryan couldn't help but smile at his friend's antics. "You said that before. No more snowflakes and latkes, huh?"

"You said it, dude."

"You sure it's not just that you lost both Summer and Anna?" Ryan didn't understand how Seth could tell both of them he just wanted to be friends. Why didn't he choose?

That got Seth's attention. "Um, well, yeah, you might have a point there." He sat up a little straighter. "How about you and Marissa? How's her therapy going?"

Ryan noticed the not-so-subtle subject change. Usually Seth liked to go on and on, especially about Summer and/or Anna, but Ryan figured he just wasn't ready to talk about it yet, and he wasn't about to push.

Ryan sighed himself. Right. Marissa. "Um, well, she's going. We haven't really talked about it."

Seth shrugged. "That's good, I guess. That she's going, I mean. Maybe it'll help." Another shrug.

Ryan nodded, pensively. Yeah, he really hoped so. The day of the Newport Group's holiday party, with the shoplifting and drinking... well, that day, Marissa had just reminded him too much of his mom. And he couldn't handle that again. He really hoped that the therapy would help her and she'd quit drinking and things would be okay again. He couldn't help but think that maybe there was something that he could do or say that would help, too. He'd have to give that some thought.

After a minute, Ryan noticed that while he was lost in thought, Seth hadn't said anything, either, which wasn't like him. He caught Seth's eye and raised his eyebrows in inquiry.

Seth took a deep breath. "Ryan... I mean..."

Ryan waited patiently for Seth to continue. It also wasn't like him to have to search for words.

Finally, he just blurted out, "This year, Chrismukkah, it was okay? Wasn't it? I mean, I know you hate the holidays and all because... well, you know..." Seth looked down, embarrassed, took another moment to compose himself, then started again, slower. "I mean, this year wasn't too bad for you, was it? There was that Chrismukkah miracle with the cop, and you hung your stocking and all –"

Ryan smiled gently at his friend. "Yeah, Seth, it was fine."

Seth gave a relieved sigh and smiled at Ryan. "Good. Great." He sat forward, eagerly. "And you know, the countdown has already started for next year. Only 346 more days."

"346?"

"Hanukkah comes early next year." Seth stood up and started to head for the door. "And you'll see. Chrismukkah will be even better next year."

Ryan grinned. You just couldn't keep Seth down for long. "I thought you said this year was the best Chrismukkah ever."

Seth smiled broadly. "Every year is, Ryan, every year is." And with that, Seth bounded out of the pool house, calling back, "Happy Chrismukkah, dude!"

"You, too!"

After he was gone, Ryan lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Unlike Seth, Ryan couldn't even start thinking about next year yet. Sure, this year was pretty good, entirely different, new memories like Kirsten said. But one good year did little to make up for all the bad ones. And this one wasn't all good, either. With Marissa's troubles and all. What Seth thought of as a Chrismukkah miracle (when they got stopped by the cop, and got off with just a warning) was too close a call for Ryan's comfort.

No, Ryan had enough to deal with right now, just trying to keep the demons from his past at bay. He'd think about next year, well, next year.


	2. 2004

**Title:** Better Next Year  
**Fandom: **The O.C.  
**Characters:**, Ryan, Cohens+1  
**Spoilers:** up through 4.7 _The Chrismukk-huh?_  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to _The O.C._. No profit taken.  
**Description:** Four scenes with Ryan, one for each of the four Chrismukkahs he has spent with the Cohens.

* * *

_2004: The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't_

Ryan's second Chrismukkah was pretty good. Well, at least for him it was. Unfortunately, it was pretty traumatic for Lindsay, and Kirsten, and really the whole Cohen/Nichol family, with the revelation of Lindsay being Caleb's illegitimate daughter.

That Christmas night, Ryan was exhausted. After the big reveal in the kitchen in front of everyone, then going to see Lindsay, then running around following Summer's orders to try and save Chrismukkah, he just wanted to fall into bed and not get up until New Year's. Fortunately, Hanukkah was over already (having started early in the month) so he didn't have to worry about that. Unfortunately, just as he was getting ready for bed, there was a knock on the pool house door.

It was Kirsten. She came in and sat daintily on the chair at the foot of the bed. "Um, how are you doing, Ryan? Everything okay?"

Ryan couldn't believe she was asking him how he was doing. She was the one who just had gone through a traumatic event. He came over and sat down at the foot of the bed across from her.

"I'm okay. How are _you_ doing? I know today's been kind of intense."

Kirsten gave him a wan smile. "Well, I've been better, as maybe you could guess. But we'll get through this."

Ryan nodded. He knew she would. She was one strong lady.

Kirsten continued, "I just wanted to thank you for everything you did today. For getting me out of the closet." She looked down, a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

Ryan gave her a reassuring look. "Don't worry about it."

She looked back up at him and said with determination, "Actually, Lindsay's the one I'm most worried about. This has to be really traumatic for her. But I'm glad that she has you as a friend to help her through it. We'll work together to make sure she's okay. Right?" She gave Ryan an encouraging smile.

Ryan smiled back and nodded, "Right."

Ryan couldn't help but think that there was no way now that he could tell Kirsten that he and Lindsay were dating. If indeed they still were. Last he heard, Lindsay didn't want to see him any more, although that was before the big "welcome to the family" party on her front steps, so who knew. He figured he should at least give her some time to digest everything before broaching the subject. Maybe she'd still want a relationship. And it was quite ironic, really, that he hadn't even wanted to invite Lindsay in the first place, thinking that it was too soon in their relationship to have her over for the holidays. If only he had listened to his inner voice on that one.

Ryan was brought out of his thoughts by Kirsten standing up. He quickly followed suit.

"Well, I'll leave you alone to get to bed. I'll bet you're happy to have Chrismukkah over with for this year, huh? But just think, it's got to be better next year. I mean, it can't be any worse." She leaned over and hugged him. "Merry Christmas, Ryan."

He hugged her back. "Thanks, Kirsten. You, too."

After a little smile and a nod, Kirsten headed back to the house.

Once she was gone, Ryan fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Kirsten saying that Christmas couldn't get any worse brought to mind all of the much worse ones that he'd had with his family growing up. At least here with the Cohens, nobody got their ass kicked. (Well, except for Caleb who got bitch-slapped by both Kirsten and Julie. Those women sure could pack a wallop.) A bright spot with all the drama this year was that, up until now anyway, it hadn't given him any time to dwell on Christmases past.

And there was a chance that Kirsten was right. Maybe next year would be better. Ryan figured he'd just have to wait and see.


	3. 2005

**Title:** Better Next Year  
**Fandom: **The O.C.  
**Characters:**, Ryan, Cohens+1  
**Spoilers:** up through 4.7 _The Chrismukk-huh?_  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to _The O.C._. No profit taken.  
**Description:** Four scenes with Ryan, one for each of the four Chrismukkahs he has spent with the Cohens.

* * *

_2005: The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah_

Ryan's third Chrismukkah was good, for the most part. As with last year, all the drama belonged to somebody else. This time it was Johnny and his ill-conceived plan to commit armed robbery to get money for his knee surgery. _Dumbass_, as Summer would say.

Ryan was thinking about Johnny, and the "Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah" they'd staged to get him his surgery, as he got ready for bed on January 2nd. It was in his mind because Chrismukkah had just ended (Hanukkah having ended that day at sundown), and he was thinking back on the last few weeks. He knew that after the bar mitz-vahkkah, Johnny had gotten his surgery, and his mother had let Marissa know that it went well. But none of them had seen or heard from Johnny for the rest of winter break. He wondered how he was doing.

Ryan had gone with Marissa and Seth and Summer to the Bait Shop earlier for their last night of break, and Summer had proposed trying to get Marissa back into Harbor. Ryan knew that that was what he should be thinking about, but he just couldn't get his mind off the bar mitz-vahkkah. He dug out the material that Seth and Sandy had given him and sat down on his bed and started to look at it.

Some time later, there was a knock on the door and Sandy stuck his head in. "Ryan? Are you still up? Remember, you go back to school tomorrow. Maybe you should start thinking about packing it in."

Ryan took a quick look at the clock. Midnight. "Oh. I didn't realize how late it was. Sorry." He started packing up his stuff.

"No problem." Sandy came in to see what he was looking at. "You're still studying the Bar Mitzvah material?"

"Not really, I just... I was thinking about it. I know I messed up in some places. I just wish I had more time to study, you know? I could have done better. I hope I didn't embarrass myself too much."

Sandy sat down in his usual spot in the chair at the end of the bed. "As I told you before, you did fine. And honestly, I don't think there was anybody in that crowd, aside from Seth and me, who would know the difference anyway."

Ryan frowned. That was probably true, but still...

Sandy joked, "But you know, if you want to do it again, you could always convert to Judaism and after a few years of Jewish education, you'll be ready to have a Bar Mitzvah for real."

Ryan smiled and shook his head. "No, that's okay. I think I'll pass."

Sandy nodded, smiling. "Did I tell you how proud I am of you for doing what you did? For your friend Johnny and for Seth?"

"Yeah, you did. A few times."

"Well, doesn't hurt to say it again." Sandy frowned for a moment. "You know, I never asked what happened with Johnny. Why didn't you want to go through with the Bar Mitzvah? Did you ever work it out?"

Ryan thought for a moment. He figured there was no reason to explain his little attack of jealousy. "Yeah, yeah, we're good now."

"Good, good. Well, I'm sorry he had to go through such a hard time anyway. Maybe things will be better next year."

Ryan nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

Sandy stood up. "Well, good night, kid." He paused and laughed softly a little. "I guess I can't call you that any more, what with the Bar Mitzvah and your eighteenth birthday only a couple months away. So, good night, Ryan, and Happy Hanukkah, for the last time."

"You, too, Sandy. Good night."

After Sandy left, Ryan put his Bar Mitzvah stuff away, then lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. With that finished, now he could concentrate on thinking about getting Marissa back into Harbor. It would be nice, having her in school with him again. And not just because she'd be away from Johnny. _Okay, don't really want to go there._

Now what else did he want to... oh, yeah, Sandy mentioned his eighteenth birthday. And next year. Next year, he and Marissa and Seth and Summer would be off at college and would be coming home for the holidays. That would be different. Ryan let his mind wander, thinking about what that was going to be like. _Could be good, you never know._


	4. 2006

**Title:** Better Next Year  
**Fandom: **The O.C.  
**Characters:**, Ryan, Cohens+1  
**Spoilers:** up through 4.7 _The Chrismukk-huh?_  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to _The O.C._. No profit taken.  
**Description:** Four scenes with Ryan, one for each of the four Chrismukkahs he has spent with the Cohens.

* * *

_2006: The Chrismukk-huh?_

Ryan's fourth Chrismukkah was really good. Well, aside from falling off the roof with Taylor, and the two of them landing in the hospital in a coma (however briefly). They had to do Christmas at the hospital, since the doctor insisted upon keeping them overnight for observation, even if it was Christmas Eve. But it worked out fine, good even. Sandy and Seth had brought in all the Chrismukkah stuff, and everyone was there. Other than the ham dinner that Kirsten had planned, everything else was pretty much the same as it would have been at home.

But still, Ryan was really glad to get home Christmas evening after he and Taylor were finally released from the hospital. When he stepped into the pool house, though, something seemed different. He stopped just inside the doors and looked around, confused, trying to figure it out. Sandy and Kirsten, who were both behind him, escorting him home, also stopped.

After a moment, Kirsten spoke up. "Ryan, is something wrong?"

"Is there something different in here? It looks different."

Kirsten gestured in the direction of the kitchenette. "Well, I put that present in here." Ryan looked over and saw Taylor's present sitting on the kitchen island. "The tag said it was to you from Taylor. I found it next to where you two had fallen outside the living room doors."

"What? I thought I put it –" Ryan was even more confused now. He could have sworn that he put Taylor's present in the pool house himself, and not in the kitchen, either. He looked around some more. No, it wasn't just the present that was different, so he asked, "Nothing else?"

This time Sandy answered. "No, everything else is just the way you left it."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sandy and Kirsten exchange a worried look. He could guess what they were thinking. That he was confused because of his concussion. But that wasn't it. He was sure of it. There _was_ something different, he just couldn't put his finger on it.

Sandy put his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Come on, let's get you to bed. You've had a busy day."

Once Ryan was finished changing into his pajamas and brushing his teeth, he headed out of the bathroom, planning on going right over and climbing into bed, but he was stopped short at the doorway. He broke out in a grin, not believing what he was seeing. As he stood there watching in amusement, Sandy and Kirsten ran around for several minutes, fixing up the pool house for him: putting out a glass of water, plumping his pillows, putting an extra blanket at the foot of his bed, moving some of his books out of the way. What did they think he was? Eight years old?

But it was cute. And actually he really enjoyed watching them work together. He guessed he enjoyed it because they'd had some ups and downs in their relationship (although not lately), and he liked seeing them happy together again. Just as he'd enjoyed seeing Seth and Summer happy together all day, he guessed because of the troubles that they'd had with the long-distance thing while Summer was at Brown.

Once she and Sandy finally got Ryan all tucked into bed, Kirsten leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Get a good night's sleep, Sweetie. We'll be just inside if you need anything."

Sandy followed that up with, "Remember, you have to take it easy for the next few days, but after that you'll be just fine. You should be good to go for New Year's Eve."

Ryan smiled at them. "Thanks, you guys. Don't worry, I'll be fine, really. This isn't the first Christmas I've spent in the hospital."

As soon as he said it, Sandy and Kirsten froze, the way they always did when he talked about the past. Ryan immediately wished he could take it back. He didn't know why he said it. He hadn't even been thinking about the past. It just kind of came out.

He tried to backtrack. "That is – I mean –"

Sandy recovered first and put on an awkward smile. "Well, even so, we're sorry that you had to spend this year in the hospital. We'll make everything that much better next year, to make up for it, you'll see."

Ryan gave him an hesitant smile back.

After another awkward moment, Kirsten took a deep breath and told him, "Well, we should go, let you get some sleep."

After that, they left quickly, shutting off the lights on their way out. Although Sandy paused in the doorway before he completely shut the door. "Good night, kid. Happy Chrismukkah."

"Good night, Sandy. Happy Chrismukkah to you, too."

After Sandy left, Ryan snuggled down into the covers and stared up at the dark ceiling. _It'll be better next year._ That's what they always said. There was always something, some kind of drama, every year which apparently ruined Chrismukkah. But honestly, any year in Newport was way better than any year in Chino. Ryan shook his head. No, he wasn't going to dwell on the past any more. What was past was past. He needed to look towards the future.

And the future was Taylor. He finally felt ready to call her his girlfriend. He didn't know why, but he was finally able to move on, to get on with his life. He felt better than he had since the accident, maybe even before that. He didn't know exactly how it happened, though. Maybe that letter he got from Marissa, telling him that she was leaving Newport so they could get on with their lives. That she loved him but had to say good-bye. He guessed he felt the same way. Even though he still loved her, he had to tell her good-bye.

Ryan smiled to himself, then snuggled further under the covers, pulling them up to his chin, and closed his eyes. He was finally looking forward to the future, and it felt great.


End file.
